Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 1 Kings 19:11-12
Not long after I became a Christian I experienced a hurt so deep it was as if someone had reached in and taken a piece of my heart out. I saw Caroline on Wednesday night and Friday morning she died in her husband’s arms after a truck crossed over into their lane, hitting their car head on.
I was in shock and disbelief. Her husband barely had a scratch on him, and Caroline was gone.
In my pain and grief, I no longer wanted any part of God and I left the church. I became lost in the darkness with an emptiness in my heart that nothing could fill.This is what happens when your emotions are out of control and you don’t really know much of God’s Word to keep standing when everything in your world is falling apart. You run from God instead of to Him.
I lived next door to the church I had left. Two years had gone by since I had been in church. I never planned on going back, but I woke up early one Sunday morning and stared at the church through my kitchen window. I felt this longing inside to go back. A still, small voice in my head urged me to go. Another voice in my head kept saying, “You’re not like those people and you never will be.” I said out loud standing in my kitchen staring at the church, “ I know it, but I’m going anyway.”
I will never forget walking through the doors of that little church and sitting in the pew. I had come in just when Sunday school was about to start. I looked up at the woman who was about to teach and she had a love about her I had never seen before. Her name was Lorene, but everyone called her Mamie.
It was her love that kept me coming back every Sunday. It was her teaching that gave me a love for His Word.
Mamie got sick with cancer and she taught as long as she was able. I remember asking her, “What if I fall apart again?” and she told me I had enough of the Word in me that I would stand. And she was right. Over 20 years have gone by since that time and her words still hold true. There has been a lot that has rocked my world, but God’s Word has kept me standing through it all.
God’s voice will never speak to you with a loud voice of condemnation. His still, small voice will speak to you with love, grace, and mercy.
When you find yourself in those moments of pain and grief and your world is falling apart … when it seems so dark and you think you can’t possibly find your way back, listen for God’s still, small voice that will speak to you in His Word.
I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
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Cheryl Crawford is a daughter of the Most High King, saved by grace. Her degree and field of work are in accounting, but would trade it all to farm if she could. She enjoys reading, writing, gardening, SEC football, and playing cards with friends. Cheryl is a natural organizer with a heart that loves to serve. You can read more about Cheryl on her BoPbio.