I Am Broken

I know in part…

When I look through the glass of my own eye to my neighbor there is first myself to see through. There is much of me yet to be known at all. And as long as we are not all knowing, we have a brokenness. 

How does this play out day to day? For me, at times it shows itself through fears. So often God said not to be afraid. In our brokenness we are pressed to trust God’s omniscience, omnipotence, and omnibenevolence. 

My husband deployed June 1st. The vulnerability that comes to a family in deployment is a great exposure of the trials one carries in their brokenness.  When we do not have a complete picture, our minds are tempted to creatively fill in the missing information. Those attempts to understand can bring us into fear, doubt, and anxieties. 

This brings us to the pain of our brokenness. Like an exposed nerve, it can steal our joy. If we are held in fear, it can kill our peace. Enough dark imaginings can destroy things in our lives that were meant for our good. 
So we are all called to love the Lord our God with all our heart ,soul, mind, and strength. Sometimes I wonder, How can I love him in my brokenness? If I am angry, or hurt, scared, or doubtful, how can I love him like this? What if I’m wrong?

We are called according to His purpose. We see in Isaiah that He wants to bind up the broken-hearted and proclaim liberty to the captives. He dwells with the contrite and lowly in spirit. He comforts those who mourn. 

My hope in my brokenness is to let those open places be reserved for Him. Not to hide from Him in shame, fear, or discouragement, but to let my wounds be open. There is little room for pride in healing. Physical, spiritual, or any other context that we have wounds, we can take care to be vigilant, not seeking fulfillment or escape outside of His love and desire for us.

There are times in our brokenness that we are presented with other things to fill those places. We can follow our thoughts to things that are not beneficial to us. Even things that are not in themselves bad can be distractions, excuses, and ill-fitted to our broken places. 

I don’t know the answers to all of these questions. Part of my brokenness is that I know in part. There is more that I don’t know than what I do. But I have hope in the way that God has loved us. I have faith that His will is good. And I trust that in love we have found the greatest of ourselves even if we are crushed.

I trust that when I don’t understand, I can be still and rest in His love. 

“For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.”  1 Corinthians 13:9-10

Because you are what God says that you are!  You are enough!

Make  Breath on Paper a part of your daily devotion as we begin this new series on what God says about us.   I AM  –  what God says that I am.  (unsubscribe at anytime)

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Anna Hargett is a lover of art, writing, music, running, and lifting weights. She finds great satisfaction as a wife, mother of two growing girls and two puppies. She works as an occupational therapy assistant and is passionate about helping people across the lifespan live life to its fullest. Anna is a lifetime learner, explorer, and creative enjoying this precious time we have with much gratitude.  Click here o read more of Anna’s bio.

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