I am Needed

I Am Needed - Breath on Paper Blog

 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Luke 7:38 (NIV)

Remember the woman that needed Jesus so bad she washed His feet with her hair and the expensive perfume? This woman knew she needed Jesus! She knew that by going to the Pharisee’s house, there was a strong possibility of being rejected, thrown out, and scoffed, but she didn’t care. All she knew was she needed to get to the feet of Jesus.

She knew she needed forgiveness, true love, and redemption. She needed to get in His presence, smell the sweetness of His robe, and surrender. She acknowledged that the humblest act of a servant would be to wash the feet that would soon be pierced with nails. She needed Him so bad, she didn’t care about the cost; she laid it all out and gave everything emotionally and financially. And, guess what? Jesus needed her too. He longed for her to sit at His feet so He could love on her.

In that precious moment, she gave her entire soul. It was as if her chest cavity was cut wide open and she needed Jesus to reach in and touch her ever so sweetly. In that moment, she received healing, redemption, love, forgiveness, and acceptance. There were many Pharisee’s in that room, but the only person she needed was Jesus. The only sound she heard was the heartbeat of her savior, her protector, her healer, her forgiver, her redeemer, and the lover of her soul. She felt the soft, sweet touch of the hand that would accept her right where she was, shame and all! In that moment, the only thing she could hear was the beating of their hearts enveloped by a warm, loving peace.

TiredThat woman was me on a Saturday afternoon in 2007. Both my teenage children were home, one was on the computer in the living room and the other had a friend over who spent the night. The only words I heard that day were, “Mom, can you take us to the mall?” “Mom, I need twenty dollars for school.” “Mom, what’s for dinner?” I felt like everyone needed something from me, but I had no more to give. I knew I needed to be still with my Savior in that quiet place.

But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut the door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. Matt. 6:6 (NKJV)

In my bedroom, I had a huge walk in closet with a regular door that locked. I went straight into that closet, shut the door, turned off the light and hunkered down as if I was preparing for a disaster. I didn’t have my bible or a devotional to reference. I only needed peace and quiet. I needed comfort. I needed God! I imagined Jesus sitting next to me with His arms around me. I could smell the sweetness of His robe and feel the thickness of His peace. I did not want to open that closet door.

I wanted to stay there forever with Him. I needed to! It was a matter of life or death. My sanity depended on it! My soul and spirit depended on it! I needed to lay my head on His lap and rest. I needed Him to hold, comfort, and rock me back to peace. Why was I feeling this way? What event triggered the anxiety within me? I couldn’t figure it out. All I knew is that I needed my God.

 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4 (NIV)

God longs for us to need Him. He desires us to need Him during the hard times and the good times. He just wants to spend time with us. He needs us just like we need Him.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Matthew 5:6 (NIV)

You are what God says that you are!  You are enough!

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Gina So’oto is the beloved child of God, oldest of three girls, and an HR Manager for a medical device company in Oceanside, California. She has two beautiful children and 2 beautiful grandchildren. As a member of Vista Assembly of God church in Vista, CA for 14 years, Gina has led several women’s small groups, worked in children’s ministry, and ushers and greets on a regular basis.

“One of the most amazing moments of my life was when I was caught in a swarm of pink lady butterflies!” “There were thousands of them!” “All I could do was just stand in amazement and wonder of God’s glory and enjoy the flutter of their tiny wings.”




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