The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17
Hey, girl … yeah, you … sitting there in your misery with that sad, dejected look on your face. Do you know how desirable you are?
I know you don’t believe you are. There was a time when my gangly-armed, tongue-tied, sorry little self would cozy up next to you and swap sad stories if I didn’t believe it either. But I do. I AM DESIRABLE! It took oh, so many years to accept that I am, but I claim it, and no person alive nor voice from the grave will convince me otherwise.
But I get where you’re at. The first glance in the mirror in the morning is shocking. I used to look at myself and wonder how anyone could ever find me desirable. Out the door, running late, I would chide myself. You’re such a loser. You’ll never get your act together. Comparing myself to others who were more popular, more educated, more successful, more whatever — I knew I fell far short of their ‘wonderfulness.’ And those who could advise and counsel my every issue with a Bible verse that quickly rolled off their tongues — well, I just couldn’t compete.
And that’s where the problem started … I couldn’t compete, wasn’t “enough,” and felt I wasn’t desirable.
Women long to be wanted, and in vying for attention in a world of absent dads (or moms), the picture of true desire becomes warped. When we don’t receive love in return from those we have given our hearts to, we are lured into believing the lie that we don’t deserve love, that there is something about us that makes us “less than.” And when you buy into that lie, the door is opened to a whole host of afflictions: rejection, promiscuity, depression, anxiety, loneliness.
My heart pursued a state of desirability in every realm: physically, intellectually, emotionally. I competed with and measured my desirability by imperfect humans’ standards; all roads led me to place high expectations on flawed and frail humans.
In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis states, “Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food … If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”
Well, if I was made for another world, and I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, then I need to look elsewhere.
“In God there is no hunger that needs to be filled, only plenteousness that He desires to give. … God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them.” C.S. Lewis
The world, preoccupied with gratifying physical desires will try to convince you otherwise, but there is absolutely no one you need to compete with to obtain God’s love. “For everything in the world — the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life — comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:16) The God of compassion, mercy, grace, and unfailing love has a heart for me; He wants me to receive the heavenly love and admiration that stands in stark contrast to what the world offers. Time and time again, His Word tells me so.
“I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.” – Song of Solomon 7:10
” You have … crowned them with glory and honor.” – Psalm 8:5b
“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” Psalm 27:10
And He followed up His words with sacrifice, proving how much He wanted you and I.
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” 1 John 3:16
When that mom or dad neglects you, leaving you feeling unloved … you are desired by Him.
When the one you love and to whom you made a vow is harsh and critical of you, saying things to you that you never expected … you are desired by Him.
When that friend turns their back on you and you don’t understand why … you are desired by Him.
When you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder how anyone could ever love you … you are desired by Him.
And when you gaze upon the cross of Calvary … remember that you, friend, are desired by Him.
Because you are what God says that you are! You are enough!
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Pam Freitag Weyant traded the harsh Midwestern winters for the sunny South. Her best friends are her stenography machine (she works as a freelance court reporter), her aged but adorable cocker spaniel Jake, and words. She is grateful for time spent traveling, writing creative nonfiction, and working out. The most important goal she hopes to reach every day is sharing her story with others so they can also find freedom in a redemptive Savior. Read more of Pam’s Breath on Paper bio here.