I am Not Alone

God Says I Am Not Alone - Amber Edwards - Breath on Paper BlogAre you currently going through a season of loneliness? Maybe you’ve been praying for a spouse for quite a while but you feel as if those prayers are getting no further than the ceiling above you. Perhaps you were married, but because of circumstances beyond your control the marriage ended, leaving a huge hole in your heart. Maybe you’ve lost a lifelong friend who was the only one in the whole world you could be totally transparent with, who never judged, only loved and supported. Or possibly, after a season of care-giving, you lost your only remaining parent and you’re feeling that, even as an adult, you’re now an orphan. Whatever the situation, we all at some point on our earthly journey will experience the feeling of being alone.

My season of loneliness began during my first marriage shortly after my son was born. Things just weren’t quite right between me and my husband. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was going on and it seemed the harder I tried, the worse it became. After years of feeling alone and trying to “fix” things by myself, my 16 year marriage ended. In the blink of an eye, I was a single mom caring for two small children with no one to take care of me. For the first time in my life I was all alone. I was scared to death!

Having accepted Christ at a young age, my first instinct was to cry out to the Lord and allow Him to draw me close, so I did. And then my divorce became final and I was alone A LOT! Joint custody meant my now ex-husband had my kids one night a week, every other weekend and half of any holiday break they had from school. Spending that first Thanksgiving and Christmas alone almost killed me! I vowed then that I would NOT allow myself to be alone AT ALL and I began filling every waking hour my kids were gone with someone or something. I simply could not handle the thoughts, feelings, fears, worries, etc. that came when I was by myself.

The devil loved the place I was in and he sure did use it. I began going out with friends a lot. One “night of fun” lead to another and another and yet another. I started listening to satan’s lies and he was all too happy to whisper them in my ear every chance he got, especially when he could get me alone. I tried to fill my emptiness with everything imaginable. A glass or two of wine a night? Of course, that’s totally fine. A whole bottle a night … sure, there’s nothing wrong with that. Single and dating for the first time in almost 20 years, wow the expectations sure were different, but, it was now the 2000s … I can’t be a prude … I mean I’m an adult and I’ve been married before, right? These thoughts constantly flooded my mind and I bought into the “it’s not a big deal” mentality. One bad choice seemed to make it easier to make the next and so on until I found myself making decisions I never imagined I would, some of which still haunt me today!

It took hitting rock bottom, falling on my knees and actually being still before I could hear Him say,

“Amber, you were NEVER alone! Have I not promised you that in my word?”

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” ~ Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)

When I began to listen to His voice and draw close, everything changed. I started to relish my alone time! He began to fill the void with joy, peace and contentment. And I realized He was there the whole time with an outstretched hand longing for me to crawl in His lap and let Him be my “person”.

So in those moments when satan tries to convince you that you’re all alone, insignificant or no one cares, never forget your Heavenly Father is but a prayer away! He longs to fill your lonely with an unmatched and never ending love! YOU, sweet sister are His and that means YOU, are NEVER alone!

Publication2Because you are what God says that you are!  You are enough!

Make  Breath on Paper a part of your daily devotion as we begin this new series on what God says about us.   I AM  –  what God says that I am.  (unsubscribe at anytime)

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Amber Edwards began Blessing Bag Ministry, affording her numerous opportunities to share her love for the Lord with many lost and hurting.   A native of Birmingham and Huffman High School, Amber is happily married with two teens and working as a Legal Assistant/Paralegal.   She enjoys leading women’s small groups and serving as Captain of the Events Team at her church.  Her true passion is for others.  Read Ambers BoP bio here.

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