He lifted me, pulled me up from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.
Psalm 40:2 The Message
“Lifted up!” That was a phrase that caught my attention before I had come to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. The uniqueness of the words impacted me as well as the light in those women’s eyes who said it. They expressed peaceful confidence, courage, and strength even in the midst of struggle. I was most curious and thought on it often. I wanted what they had! Being PBJ (‘Pre-born’ in Jesus) I had not a clue of the nature or power of the Holy Spirit, but God was already placing people in my path in order to grow me!
Part of life at that time included a very difficult period medically for my son Ben, who had been diagnosed at the age of ten months with a severe seizure disorder. Trials of medications tempered the misfires of the electrical circuits in his tiny head. I was to keep journals of how many seizures and when, the worst being 135 seizures in 30 minutes, which snapped out the lights of his vision, as the seizures shared cranial space where vision receptors are housed.
Seizures had continued with persistence but gradually began to number less than the previous 300-600 per day. One day, however, symptoms manifested similar to those exhibited in earlier hard times. I was greatly grieved, expecting the worst.
I remember crying out in anguish, raising my hands as I threw dishes into the dishwasher. “I can’t do this anymore! I am tired and worn out! I have lost weight in the struggle of this stress! I have tried to hear Your voice, tried to pay attention! You’ve either got to change him or change me!” (Not exactly the most humble presentation!) I cried and prayed for what seemed hours, “You could just heal him You know. You MADE the entire universe! I know You have the power!” Tears were still streaming down my face as I put Ben to bed. In his mooned-darkened room, I rocked and rocked, needing more to be calmed myself than he.
The next day came and went. That night I tried to sleep, my mind not resting. Something was missing. Had I missed a medical or therapy appointment? Maybe forgotten to administer a medication dosage? I shot absolutely upright!! BEN HAD NOT SEIZED TODAY!!! I ran down to his room where he was deep asleep. I picked him up and lifted him high, like in the movie “The Lion King”!! I spun around!! That Ben slept through all of it increased the great joy of the moment!
I was lifted up!
You did it!! You changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning cloak and decked me with wildflowers! I can’t keep quiet about You! I can’t thank You enough! Psalm 30:11-12 The Message
There was a new feeling inside of me! I came to know that I could approach God with boldness and intimacy and specificity in prayer, and further, that He cared about what I cared about! What a significant “turn-around day” in my faith walk! I knew that I could ASK GOD to lift me up, no matter the circumstance, that He would in fact hear me, give me courage and guidance, and give me strength when I’m down and out….THAT HE WOULD COME TO LIFT ME UP!
The same God Who lifts the sun from the sea lifts me!
And He will lift you if you only ask….
You are what God says that you are! You are enough!
Make Breath on Paper a part of your daily devotion as we begin this new series on what God says about us , I AM – what God says that I am. (unsubscribe at anytime)
After Ben was born with Down Syndrome, Lori discovered her mother’s intuition and graceful humor to nurture a community of other parents and caregivers. Serving 5 years as Early Intervention Support Coordinator for PTI of Nebraska, she trained families to not only survive but thrive in their “new normal.” Her mission is to guide others to build hope for their families.