A worthy woman who can find? For her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Have you ever had a hard time realizing your true value? You know that you are God’s chosen one and you’re worth more than rubies. But, there’s always that feeling that you’re not quite good enough. You hold yourself just on the periphery of groups. You don’t allow yourself to get too close to anyone – family included. You tell yourself you just don’t have time for close relationships.
The truth is you just can’t imagine they’d want to be friends with you. Why would they? Ok. Maybe the mean girls in junior high did a real number on your self-esteem and you never got over it.
It seems that what our low self esteem boils down to is … fear. Fear that once they get to know us, they’ll see behind the mask. And see there’s nothing interesting there. Or that we’ll say the wrong thing at the wrong time (as usual) and they’ll laugh at us. Maybe it’s fear that the success we’ve had in the past can’t be repeated and they’ll see us for the failure we really are.
WOW! That’s a lot, right. Sadly friend, we’re not the only ones. Turns out there are many of us out there who question our value. The reasons are many, and the results of not knowing and believing in our worth can be devastating.
When we don’t believe in all that God created us to be, we miss out on both the incredible and the ordinary opportunities. We don’t apply for the job because we’d never be selected. We don’t take risks because they’d be destined to fail. We underestimate our impact on those who love us and our actions cause them great pain.
That has been the wakeup call for me. My fears, and how I allow them to control my actions and inactions, don’t just affect me. We are all connected to others in some way. What seems to be our own personal problem has residual effects on all those we are in relationship with. Collateral damage.
In working to repair some of the damage my fears created, this quote from Marianne Williamson keeps going through my mind.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
It sheds a different light on the core of those fears. We don’t want to shine too brightly. It’s conceited. People will think we’re too big for our britches. Maybe we’ve stepped beyond the pre-defined place society deigned to carve out for us.
But what if it’s not conceit or the big head? What if it’s God confidence that we are walking in the light He created to show others how to walk that way too. Wouldn’t that be something?
What if we walk in this world as though we know our value, our worth, as assigned by God and not man?
Playing small isn’t working out so well for me. I’m going to work toward living as God has called me to live. It’s not an easy transition, but it’s a necessary one if I’m to be all God assigned me to be.
Won’t you join me? We could change the world together.
Hey there friend! Andrea McCaskey here. I believe everything happens for a reason, life is meant to be lived in relationship with others and there is beauty to be found everywhere if we look. I am a friend of God, wife of Jamal and mother of Brandon and Madison.
To read more of Andrea’s Breath on Paper bio, click here.