When Insecurity Consumes

Breath on Paper small group is taking a break between semesters. We’ll be back June 12th.

That moment you realize you’ve allowed every aspect of fear: frustration, anger, insecurity, jealousy, etc., to steal the abundance of God’s joy from your life— yeah, that moment hurts.

Self revelation usually happens when you find yourself in need of correction and it’s in cases where only God can open your own eyes to your infirmity.  This has been my experience, anyway.  And they never feel good, but oh!  How much better I am for them!

A few weeks ago one of our pastors shared a powerful message on fear.  It hit home in ways that I never saw coming and ministered to my spirit so very deeply, exposing things that I had no idea I was subconsciously battling.  The message was simple but revitalizing at the same time: in order to overcome fear, we have to recognize how it’s manifesting in our lives.  Fear is the root of the secondary emotions anger, frustration, insecurity and jealousy.

“Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, “I’ll work for you for seven years if you’ll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife.” “Agreed!” Laban replied. “I’d rather give her to you than to anyone else. Stay and work with me.” So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.”‭‭ Genesis‬ ‭29:18-20‬

So Jacob agreed to work seven more years. A week after Jacob had married Leah, Laban gave him Rachel, too.”‭‭ Genesis‬ ‭29:28‬

Rachel, the chosen beloved of Jacob, God’s chosen one, whom he labored 14 years in order to have her as his wife.  We know this bit of her story well.  It’s honestly my favorite part and I absolutely love that we can find such a passionate love story in the scriptures!  I wish so much that it was followed with “…and they lived happily ever after.”  (I really am a hopeless romantic.😜)  However, that wasn’t the case for our Rachel.  Because the other part of her story, the less glamorous and heartbreaking side, is that fear ruled her and because of it she gave into insecurity and jealousy; forfeiting her joy and “happily ever after.”

“When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

Then Rachel told him, “Take my maid, Bilhah, and sleep with her. She will bear children for me, and through her I can have a family, too.”” Genesis‬ ‭30:1, 3‬ ‭

We see in the above verses that Rachel allowed her insecurity and jealousy to consume her.  What was she afraid of or insecure about?   Perhaps she felt like a failure as a woman and wife, or was just desperate for children.  It could be all of those things.  Personally, I imagine it was all that plus, the thought that since her sister was producing children while she couldn’t that gave birth to the lie that Jacob, therefore, would stop loving her.  So then, she locks herself in this competition with her sister.  It’s really not so far fetched.

Rachel already had Jacob’s love; from the moment he saw her.  She never had to earn it, and despite what lies she began believing, she wasn’t going to lose his love.  It’s a sad reality that so many of us, myself included, do that with people in our own lives, and especially God.  Our fears become loud; so loud that it starts to drown out the truth about us.  God’s truth. In doing so, we rob ourselves of His greatest blessings for our lives, we lose our joy; our contentment.

We have the opportunity every day to choose to believe the lies of the enemy or the truth of the Father.  That choice determines the joy we experience, and so much more.  We have the power to conquer our thoughts and change our perspective.  We must take the thoughts captive and replace them with truth or they will hold us captive.

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,”  2 Corinthians 10:5 

Lord, I pray that I never cease to choose Your truth.


Read more on Rachel with us on our “Learning from Their Examples” series


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IMG_7722Heather Whidden loves Jesus, is married to her best friend and is mother of 3 blessings.  She is a professional photographer and has a heart for ministry.  She loves spending time with her family and friends, writing, reading, and traveling.  Time and people is what she values most.  You can read more about her here.

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