“Don’t you dare make me a 49-year-old widow,” I told my husband. “I won’t,” he weakly replied. Like I possessed the power to force him not to and he had the power to defy God. Six weeks later, I was exactly that … a widow. God didn’t even give me the chance to get used to the idea over the course of a year that the oncologist had projected to be the length of life left in my husband’s cancer-filled body.
Just like that, He pulled the plug. Done. Over.
Not only did it seem as though I had been blindsided, I was scared. I groped my way through the dark days and weeks ahead as though I had been air-dropped into a foreign land with no map and no comprehension of the local language.
Have you ever found yourself in that place? A place where life as you know it has become riddled with disease and died?
Ruth was there. She, too, was a young, childless widow. And I bet, like me, she thought, I didn’t sign up for this! In my grief, I decided life was over for me, at least life as I knew it.
But it wasn’t … not by a long shot.
I spent countless hours asking God why, and after some time realized that when difficult circumstances arrive on your doorstep, Satan will do everything he can to keep you confused, depressed, and feeling hopeless. He knew that if I could emerge from my heap of tears and the despair I was in, he would lose and God would win.
I decided that Satan wasn’t going to keep a good woman down. I would never figure out the why and even if I did, it wasn’t going to change a thing! Moreover, what God wanted for me was to accept that He had allowed it to flow through His hands and trust that He would lead me through it. And that He did.
That is exactly what Ruth did — accept and trust. And because she left the desolation of her death-tinged circumstances and forged ahead with Naomi to a land where God dwelled, Ruth experienced new life, a life beyond her wildest imagination.
It is in the ups and downs and sideways of life where God appears. In the middle of sickness and loss and the suddenness of unwanted circumstances He shows up. It is because of all of the messes, disappointments, and tragedies of life I have a story to share and hope to offer to others.
I know today that my husband would be happy that I have a new life. This once introverted, unsure, fear-filled woman celebrates the adventure of that new life every day, and contributing to this blog site is just part of the celebration.
I have so much more to share with you. Stay tuned …
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Pam Weyant recently traded the harsh Midwestern winters for the sunny South. When she is not spending her time as a freelance court reporter, you will find her loving up her adorable cocker spaniel, hiking, traveling, writing creative nonfiction, or working out. Her passion is sharing her story so others can join her in celebrating the freedom found in a redemptive Savior.