Sweeping Change

Has your mind ever been plagued by the knowledge that things needed to change in your life? You wanted breakthrough in some area of your life but it just wasn’t coming? You’ve searched for answers, but it’s going to take something monumental to bring the long-desired reversal to the road you have been traveling. 

 I had been on that road a long time … a much-too-long time. I had accepted as my lot in life; over-responsibility, addiction to perfectionism, people pleasing, meeting performance standards. Added to that was verbal abuse, emotional neglect, shaming … 

 I was a mess.

I had allowed myself to be defined by others instead of standing on the truth of who God said I was, and I measured my worth by comparing what I felt like on the inside with what others looked like on the outside. 

More mess.

Self-help books rested on my nightstand. I pored over title after title, agreeing with every sentence written by trained psychologists, self-love gurus, and similarly-situated women, but would never muster the courage to act upon what I had read. Praying halfheartedly, I wished and dreamed that life would be different while continuing to resist proactive efforts. I knew God was “there” but did not include him in the equation. (Remember, I was an overly responsible performer who would rescue — you got it — me! Superwoman syndrome to the max but still feeling powerless over my beliefs.)

I wonder if Rahab ever thought as I had … Will anything ever change in my life? Is this all there is for me? There has to be more.

She had been living a life of shame, used by men and cast aside. It was a way of life she had become accustomed to. No doubt it brought her an income, but it was, nevertheless, a pagan existence and without question not what God would desire for her. 

Regardless of whether she was emotionally or mentally ready for the sweeping change that was about to occur, God’s hand was most certainly on her life. He knew her heart was open to Him, and He wasn’t going to forget her in His plan. She knew little about this God, but she had heard of His power and believed in Him.

“ … for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.” Joshua 2:11

God wanted so much more for her life, but she would need to surrender the life she had become all too familiar with. She didn’t go looking for the drama, but God allowed events to occur which caused Rahab to become a central figure in the episode of espionage leading to the Israelites conquering the city of Jericho. 

And as with Rahab, God wasn’t going to wait for me. He wanted so much more for me, and it was His will that prevailed. He wanted to free me from the heavy chains that bound me to sickness of mind and heart. My beliefs about who I was had been established in my childhood, and I continued to nurture them until they grew strong, deep roots. As wearisome and agonizing as life was, it was what I knew, and I would need to relinquish living in that “comfort zone” in order to realize God’s best for me. It took the mighty hand of God to sweep through my heart to reclaim the lost territory as His. 

Just as He had done for Rahab. 

(Sigh …) How can surrender sound so simple and yet be so difficult? Events unfolded in my life — including the rather sudden death of my husband — which forced me to take a serious self-inventory. I replaced the self-help books with God’s Word and started to believe that what He — not others — said about me was the truth. Freedom occurred. Good things started to happen. God’s purposes for my life are so much higher than what I could have ever envisioned, and the rewards have been immeasurable. I am now living a life set free from the bondage in which I had only been existing.

And Rahab? Well, Rahab also went on to live a much more fulfilling life. God had spared her from certain death had she not acted, and in her lineage is the Savior of the world.  

Pretty remarkable. But that’s God.

Are you ready to get out the broom?


img_9181-1Pam recently traded the harsh Midwestern winters for the sunny South.  When she is not spending her time as a freelance court reporter, you will find her loving up her adorable cocker spaniel, hiking, traveling, writing creative nonfiction, or working out.  Her passion is sharing her story so others can join her in celebrating the freedom found in a redemptive Savior.

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