My Life Wasn’t Supposed To Be Like This


When I was a girl I dreamed of being a farmer’s wife. I was going to have seven sons and I had given each one a name. My dream did not come true as most of the dreams from our childhood don’t. There is so much in life that we don’t plan on, and I have often thought my life wasn’t supposed to be like this. Maybe you have thought that at one time or another.

What do we do when life doesn’t turn out the way we wanted it to? What do we do when life gets messy, and disappointing and sorrowful? Let’s take a look at Rachel’s life and find out.

Rachel’s life got messy when Jacob came to town. He fell madly in love with her, and pledged to work seven years to get her, but on their wedding night, Rachel’s father Laban snuck his oldest daughter Leah between the sheets, and Jacob had to pledge another seven years of labor to be able to have Rachel.

I can’t imagine how Jacob did not know he was with the wrong woman. I can’t believe Leah would want to be married so much that she would agree to take advantage of her sister on her wedding night. But I don’t think Leah was given a choice with a father like Laban.

Disappointment came to Rachel’s life when she could not get pregnant. For all the love Jacob had for Rachel it was not enough because of the barrenness of her womb. The taunts from Leah and the jealousy that erupted created a volcano of envy toward her sister. Her emotions got so out of control she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” Genesis 30:1


“Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb.” Genesis 30:22

Rachel bore Jacob two sons, Joseph and Benjamin. Rachel’s life turned sorrowful giving birth to Benjamin as it cost her life. I can’t help but think as Rachel lay dying near Bethlehem that she said to herself, “My life wasn’t supposed to be like this.” We see in Rachel’s story that life did not turn out like she wanted it to.

What do we do when life is not turning out like we want it to?

We trust God’s plan and we hold on to the rest of the story. One of the great things about heaven is being able to see how God used everything in our lives to further His Kingdom. Everything we go through God turns into good to serve His wonderful plan that we get to play a part in. It is awesome to me that the God of the universe gives me a part to play in His plan.

When Rachel got to heaven she saw the rest of the story and how it all worked out. She would see how her only two sons, Joseph and Benjamin, would play a big role in saving Israel from a severe famine. And Rachel would also see how one of her sister’s sons, Judah, would be the branch on the family tree that would give us King David, and eventually Jesus Himself.

Everything in your life may look like heartache, disappointment and sorrow, but remember the rest of the story. God works in even the most dysfunctional families, like Rachel’s, and with the most sinful of people, like us, to accomplish His purpose.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28




Cheryl Crawford is a daughter of the Most High King, saved by grace. Her degree and field of work are in accounting, but would trade it all to farm if she could. She enjoys reading, writing, gardening, SEC football and playing cards with friends. Cheryl is a natural organizer with a heart that loves to serve. You can read more about Cheryl on her BoP bio.

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