Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. (Jeremiah 33:3)
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
During a recent infuse training session for Highlands Production the instructor looked into the direction of the newbies and asked, “Who wants to go first?”After a few long moments of silence, I slowly raised my hand and said, “I will.”
How hard could it be? I observed two advanced team members go before me. I paid attention to every move they made, every click of the mouse and every tap of the space bar. I was focused on their every movement not wanting to miss a thing and listening to the verbal instruction of the instructor as we went along.
“I can do this,” I said under my breath. I slowly pulled the chair out from the desk and sat nervously staring at the computer screen waiting on the MP3 player to load. To make a long story short – it was easier than I thought (literally pushing a button). But the thoughts swirling around in my head convinced me otherwise.
I was worried I would embarrass myself for making simple mistakes or that my lack of computer savvy be the talk of the day at the water cooler. I didn’t want to be judged for my mistakes.
I worried myself for nothing. After my first try my team members were positive and encouraging offering me suggestions for the next time. This experience is only one of the many times I have doubted my abilities.
Have you ever doubted yourself?
For this week’s blog we were to write about Eve. She definitely had many “firsts” including the first woman, wife and mother. Eve was formed by God to be Adam’s helper and companion in serving God.
The duties Eve was tasked with were far greater in importance than the ones I am learning with the production team. I can only image the doubts Eve might have had regarding her responsibilities.
As I researched the topic of Eve I continued to think of all the doubts I have had and still have as a mother and servant. And what I always went back to was there will always be doubt in one’s mind. Doubt will always be dwelled on and contemplated. It may always be in the back of one’s mind and it will even be tested.
But what we must remember is that “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” (James 1:5-8)
Tonya Masoner is a part-time legal assistant and full-time school custodian. She enjoys thrift shopping, pizza Sunday’s and binge watching Netflix. She loves telling people-“God’s got a sense of humor… I don’t even drink coffee.” Her Breath on Paper bio can be found here.
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