I Just Can’t

Then Boaz told him, “Of course, your purchase of the land from Naomi also requires that you marry Ruth, the Moabite widow. That way she can have children who will carry on her husband’s name and keep the land in the family.”  “Then I can’t redeem it,” the family redeemer replied, “because this might endanger my own estate. You redeem the land; I cannot do it.” Ruth 4:5-6

This week we are writing about the near kinsman redeemer who didn’t choose to exercise his right to purchase the land of Naomi’s husband Elimilech. Maybe because it came with some added baggage, namely Naomi and Ruth. Perhaps that just seemed like too much to bother with.

He was willing to take just the land, but when marrying Ruth and fathering her child were added in, it was just too much. More than he wanted. He couldn’t risk what he already had. I kinda get that. Sometimes situations and relationships just seem like too much. And you have to ask God, “Is this really what you want for your child?”

This place, right now, where everything offends someone. Where no one seems to want to seek first to understand, then to be understood. Where loved ones bodies are ravaged with disease. Where everyone, and I mean everyone, you know has a struggle going on – money, mental health, relationships. And people – Christians – are questioning if this faith in the one true God is really worth it all. Is there really a purpose to everything under Heaven?

And even as I railed at God about the injustices, His answer was right there in my spirit. Yes, there is a purpose for ABSOLUTELY everything. No, you may not like it. No, you may not understand it. And as my wonderful husband says, “Just because you don’t like the answer, it doesn’t make it wrong.”

Yes, there is pain and suffering and I don’t like it. And God has a plan greater certainly than my wants and feelings. His thoughts and ways being higher than mine and all that. 

If we can’t even imagine his ways then we’d best learn to TRUST Him and know that no matter how hard and unfair things seem, He is always good. And He has a plan. And we’ll understand it better by and by.

So, unlike the kinsman redeemer who just couldn’t risk what he already had, let’s say, “Yes, relationships in this life are risky. And we will wade deep into the murky waters of them and choose to love anyway.

Marriage and all holy relationships are means of sanctifying grace. When we take the risk of loving one another, we will be pushed and pulled and purged and our patience will be tested. We will hurt when they hurt, and our own suffering will be multiplied in them. It is not for the faint of heart. But the cost is just part of the gift, slowly shaping us (sometimes against our will and our knowing) into the people we are meant to be, the people we can be. Taken from Brian Erickson’s Facebook post to his wife, Mollie, on her birthday.

These words pierced deeply into the tender places of my heart when I read them. Loving one another is a risk AND even still it’s a risk worth taking – if we entrust the outcome to God.

And even when we just can’t, He can!  Selah… Andrea



Hey there friend! Andrea McCaskey here. I believe everything happens for a reason, life is meant to be lived in relationship with others and there is beauty to be found everywhere if we look. I am a friend of God, wife of Jamal and mother of Brandon and Madison.

To read more of Andrea’s Breath on Paper bio, click here.



Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.



One thought on “I Just Can’t

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s