“This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
1 John 4:10
I am far from perfect. Like most girls, I struggle with insecurities. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. My mom was a single mom to three kids, so that meant little to no money left over for things like giving us a trendy wardrobe or a stylish haircut. Up until middle school, I had no problem with the way I dressed or the way I looked. It wasn’t until I met other girls who wore name brands, and had money, that I started to feel very self conscious about my appearance. For Christmas I would ask for whatever was in style, in an effort to fit in, and make friends based off of our common “style.”
The first two years of High School were some of the hardest. I had no friends, and everything I said, or wore, or did, was in an attempt to make friends, to fit in, to be accepted. I tried so hard to dress a certain way, and act a certain way, and it was all so exhausting because at the end of the day, I still wasn’t making any friends. I still felt rejected. It was like no matter what I did, I was never good enough.
I went home one day brokenhearted, at this point I had spent many days alone in my room – but this particular night was different. The pain of abandonment from my parents divorce, and all the rejection from my peers had finally driven a stake through my heart, and I broke. I cried and cried until I had no more tears left to cry, and I remember finally looking up and asking God, “Why? Why don’t I have any friends? WHY am I so alone?” I’ve only heard God audibly speak to me a few times, but I remember hearing Him so loud and clear that night. That night God said, “Arrianna, I am saving you from a world of regret. You aren’t meant to be with THOSE friends, because I am preparing you for something so much greater. So right now you can’t be with them, because I have to prepare your heart.” That night I got intentional in my relationship with Jesus, I wanted what He had planned for me.
Almost a year later I went to my first small group. The second I walked in the door, I heard God say, “THESE are the friends I have for you.” It took everything in me not to break down in tears that night. The next 12 weeks I wasn’t only growing closer to the participants and leaders of that group, but I was growing closer to God. The closer I got to Him, the more I understood Him and His extravagant love for me. My leader in that group, Heather (who is actually one of our Breath on Paper writers), ended up being not only my mentor, but now one of my dearest friends. I was lucky enough to have two leaders who started calling out leadership in me, and because of them and the confidence I had gained through Jesus, I decided to lead my own small group.
I knew from the start that I wanted to lead a group for high school girls, but I kept thinking about what I wanted to name that group. It had to be significant, it had to have impact, it had to be life changing. “Enough. That’s the name of the group. Enough.” I decided to name the group “Enough” because of my own experience in high school of never feeling like I was good enough. I desired that every girl who came into my home, and into the presence of Jesus would know that God say’s they’re enough, that they don’t have to be anything else besides who they are!
The world is a liar, and the world will tell you that you have to look a certain way, and have money, and go to parties to be worth something in this world. But, you know what Jesus says? Jesus says you were good enough for Him to get up on that cross for you! And if you were good enough for THAT, you are good enough for ANY THING.
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Arrianna is a happy-go-lucky young lady who enjoys beauty, fashion, and spreading the love of Jesus through: small groups, YouTube, and blogging. Her dream is to one day be a wife, mother, and friend – but most importantly a world changer for the kingdom of God. For more about Arrianna, click here.