She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
I believe everything that happens has a purpose. There are no coincidences. So I was not surprised when I was asked to write on verse 12. I often ask my small group leader to pray for my marriage and for me to be the wife God calls me to be. And sometimes I struggle.
Sometimes I want to loudly say words that are less than life giving. But I just grumble them to myself when the dirty dishes don’t get rinsed and put in the dishwasher. Or he uses my side of the sink. Isn’t that why we have two sinks? So he won’t have to use my side! I know. Petty, right?
All that to say it is very appropriate that this verse is assigned to me. It caused me to think about how after 23 years of marriage, I was taking some things in my marriage for granted. The same zeal I had to please him in the beginning has diminished over the years. Sure, there have been kids, jobs, family and friends, but I keep hearing this song playing in my head. The same thing it took to get your baby hooked, it’s gonna take the same thing to keep him hooked.
And even though he says he still sees me as the woman he first fell in love with, I want to step up my game. Not because I have to, but because I want to be an example for our son and daughter. They may get married one day and I want them both to know how to treat their spouse and how they should expect to be treated. And when we model loving marriages, the world also sees a picture of Christ and his bride.
But what does it look like to bring him good and not harm every day? It could look like this:
- Know his love language and act accordingly. My husband appreciates acts of service. He likes for us to cook together. While I see cooking as a necessary evil, he enjoys it and sees it as a time for us to connect as a couple. Once I realized that, cooking dinner together became more fun.
- Respect him with my words both in and out of his presence. When my husband and I are struggling with an issue, it is not my place to share it with my mother or friends. I may seek advice from a wise woman of God, but only as a means to resolve the issue, not to demean my husband.
- Do love. As Bob Goff says, love does. Share their interests. My husband loves cars and we watch a lot of car shows. My knowledge of cars could fill a thimble, but I hang in there because he loves it.
Proverbs 3:27 reminds us to not withhold good from those to whom it is due. I would add especially the one you have chosen to spend your life with. And the one you live your life for. Selah… Andrea
Hey there friend! Andrea McCaskey here. I believe everything happens for a reason, life is meant to be lived in relationship with others and there is beauty to be found everywhere if we look. I am a friend of God, wife of Jamal and mother of Brandon and Madison.
To read more of Andrea’s Breath on Paper bio, click here.