The Truth About Submission

“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.”   Proverbs 31:11

My husband and I are about to celebrate 13 years of marriage next week.  We met in high school almost 18 years ago.  Its surreal to think it’s been that long.  It seems like forever ago while at the same time as if its only been a few short years.  So much has changed since we first met.  We’ve grown up, for one.  Then throw in real jobs, a few kids, bills, a house and a life in ministry and its clear life looks nothing like that of our teenage years.  One thing that hasn’t changed is that he is still the most incredible man I’ve ever known.

I knew on our first date that he was the one.  I remember that night vividly, feeling it in my spirit but also too afraid to believe that I could be so blessed.  Jeremy was different than other guys, in a too-good-too-be-true kind of way.  Total package!  Gorgeous, smart, funny, talented, kind, polite, respectful, pure and loved the Lord. He could’ve had his pick of so many others, yet he chose me.  That alone proves there is a God in heaven!  Especially when you consider the fact that up until the first time we actually hung out with the same group of friends, we had completely false impressions of the other one that never would’ve had us consider the other to date.  Only God could’ve lined it up for us to have the opportunity to realize that our preconceived notions were not only invalid, but rather that we were exactly who the other was praying for.

No, that doesn’t mean we had a perfect relationship prior to getting married, far from it.  And it certainly doesn’t mean we’ve had the perfect marriage.  We’ve walked through trials and pain, loss and failure. So many lessons have been learned along the way.  The biggest, was how to do this marriage thing the right way; God’s way.  FYI, you never stop learning that one.  I had to learn how to let my husband lead our family, especially spiritually.  Submission, wasn’t my strong suite; until recent years, it never had been.  Mostly because I didn’t understand that the truth about submission wasn’t being “ruled over” but rather “led by.”  The truth is submission is trust. Once I understood that and allowed Jeremy to lead us, our whole lives shifted.  It’s been blessed beyond measure.

This is where I’m tying in the featured verse.  I’m far from the Proverbs 31 woman or the perfect wife, but I am the best that I know how to be.  For the man who works so hard every day, in a job that’s so demanding and far from easy; the man who pours his life into others and ministers to their hearts in encouragement; the man who loves his children like no other and is the best father anyone could ask for; the man who treats me like a queen and loves me as Christ loves the church, Jeremy deserves nothing less than the best I know to give.

The only way I can give him the best of me, is to first give my best to God by pursuing Him and living His Word.  I must love my husband from a place of overflow and honor him as God has commanded.

This verse isn’t just about trust in the sense of fidelity, nor is the enrichment is speaks of, just that of tangible possessions.  It’s about trusting in the rawest form. I trust him to lead our family with integrity and wisdom; and he can trust me to pray for God to guide him and give him that wisdom, and for me to submit. He can trust me to trust him and his leadership, knowing that I will support him in every decision and endeavor.  This is the only way I can truly enrich his life. Because I could go down the checklist of everything else in the Proverbs 31 list and perform those exactly (figuratively speaking), but without this first aspect, I’d miss the mark.  It’s the reason it’s listed first, the rest is impossible without it.

Marriage is blessed by submission and so am I. ~ Heather




Heather Whidden loves Jesus, is married to her best friend and is mother of 3 blessings.  She is a professional photographer and has a heart for ministry.  She loves spending time with her family and friends, writing, reading, traveling.  Time and people is what she values most.

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