“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
I’ve been going through one of the toughest, longest seasons of my life. If it were an actual season, it would be an Alabama winter. Deathly cold one day, a light breeze the next, snowpocalypse for 3 days, shorts & flip flops weather a day later, and–of course–the tornado that’s sure to follow. My life is constantly changing and is filled with uncertainty and unanswered questions.
I feel like my soul has been constantly crying out to Jesus in need of help, while rejoicing in His victories all at the same time. I have so much to be grateful to Him for, yet so much I need Him to take and fix in a way only He can. The Lord has been faithful in providing, yet I still find myself overwhelmed at times with a sadness so deep that it physically hurts. My body aches. I feel like my insides are vibrating with anxiety. Emotions escape my eyes with no warning and I’m totally unaware until I feel the sting on my cheeks.
The strangest thing has happened this week, though. Three different times in one of my toughest weeks, I’ve been told how peaceful I seem. PEACEFUL? Is that not strange? I’ve never been told I looked peaceful on a GOOD DAY. It’s just an odd thing to say, I’d think. One man even came into my office and after playing 20 questions: “Did you just get engaged?” No, I’m married. “Did you just recently get married?” Well, I mean, it’ll be a year in April… “Did you just get back from vacation?” Ha! I wish! “Did you just find out you’re pregnant…I mean, you don’t look pregnant…but…” NO! Definitely not! He finally said I just had this look or this vibe that he could only describe as “radiating peace”.
I’m radiating peace, y’all. Say whaaaa? Okay, I do have a strange sense of peace, but not typical, worldly peace. Not the kind of peace you feel when your life is going perfectly and you just got a raise. Not the kind of peace that comes with a phone call from an oncologist that “all is clear”. It’s an almost unexplainable peace. Sometimes I’m falling apart at the seams, but I know it’s going to be okay. It doesn’t make much sense, but I say it’s “almost unexplainable”, because there is an explanation. The only explanation is Jesus. I’m trembling inside, but people are seeing the peace within me. No, scratch that. People are seeing the PRINCE OF PEACE within me. It’s the Jesus within me and His peace that brings the smile to my face when I greet guests at work, the cheerful voice when I answer the phone, the compassion & concern I feel for others–more than I feel for myself, and the ability to enjoy dancing like a crazy lady in the car with the kids and laugh with my friends.
“27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
I get it, now. I do. Thank You, Father, for not giving to me as the world does. Thank You for letting others see more of You in me, than they see of the human mess that I am apart from You. Thank You for calming my trembling body, with Your promise that it’s all going to be okay. Thank You for giving me so much more than “inner peace”–thank You for being the Prince of Peace within me. ~ Lacey
Your Turn: Can you feel His peace in the midst of chaos? The peace that surpasses all understanding when the circumstances around you suggest there’s anything BUT peace? Maybe you can recall walking through a similar season and remember feeling the Prince of Peace within you? We’d love to hear from you. ~ Breath on Paper