I Prayed But God Didn’t Help

I had prayed with all my heart for healing.  After all, I had personally experienced a miraculous healing from the same disease just five years earlier. I knew He would heal me again. I had faith to believe He would. Didn’t He hear? Didn’t He care?

I don’t understand, I prayed to God but He didn’t help.  He didn’t heal me like I thought he would.

I have now walked through a full year of chemotherapy and surgeries.  Three surgeries and 16 rounds of harsh Chemo plus an additional 14 of not so harsh Chemo treatments and I can almost see the end of this road.  All the hardest parts are over.  Just a couple more treatments and I go for the final scan that reports I’m cancer free.

I didn’t want to have to walk through endless days of side effects from the poisons of chemotherapy.  (I know itimg_1646 is the very best treatment that our medicine has to date.  And I am very thankful! It still doesn’t change the fact that it is a very toxic poison.)  The first four treatments were the harshest.  I had all the side effects predicted. Three weeks in and my hair was gone.  Bald.  There were days on end that I could barely get out of bed just to go to the bathroom.  To say that I was tired makes it sound like I just needed a nap.  I would sleep for days and not be any more rested than when I laid down. It’s hard to describe the fatigue.

Having survived what the nurses referred to as the Red Devil, I moved onto twelve not as bad treatments.  During the entirety of Chemo I had to use extreme caution. What would be a simple cold to you would have put me in the hospital. I had to stay all but isolated and use great caution at every turn.

All that was what I had asked God to deliver me from!  Why hadn’t He just healed me?  Why hadn’t He answered like I wanted?  Why did I have to walk through those horrible months? I had so many questions!

When my hair finally got an inch long, I went in for a cut and the stylist asked me, “What was the biggest thing you learned?” I confess, I stumbled with stating my best answer.

Since that day, I have organized my thoughts and rehearsed, in a telling kind of way, my answer. (Always be ready to give an answer. 1 Peter 3:15)

On a practical note, I learned that God heals in one of three ways. 1) He heals miraculously, 2) He heals through medicine and 3) He heals completely when He takes us to heaven. (No one gets out of this world alive!  Right?!)

On a spiritual note, simply I learned to trust Him more.

The Children of Israel had just witnessed the biggest miracle on planet Earth when God not only led them across the Red Sea without getting mud between their toes, He also drown their enemy behind them.  The scripture tells us that Moses’ sister, Miriam led them out with singing and dancing, playing the tambourine.  They must have been shouting hallelujah for all that God had done!   For three short days they followed a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. (It wasn’t like they took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.)  The Bible tells us that God led them to a place of bitter waters.  Not, ‘Oh, this taste bad,’ but a make you sick for days kind of bitter!  Why? Why had God lead them there?  They had just seen Him deliver them!  But now bitter waters.   The next verses in Exodus tells us that God told Moses that He took them there so that they would trust Him more!  The first time God uses His name as Healer was at this place.  They needed to trust Him more.

So, while I experienced God’s miraculous healing years before, He healed me differently this time.  He took me to a place where I learned to trust Him more. ~ Cindy

~ ~ ~

Your Turn:  Has God ever answered differently than you wanted…different than what you asked?  Can you trust Him?   Isaiah 55 tells us His plans are higher than ours?  He is a good, good Father.  The real question is can you trust him? ~ Breath on Paper

26 thoughts on “I Prayed But God Didn’t Help

  1. Beautifully said, Sweet Cindy! Jehovah-Rapha (The Lord Who Heals) has you. What a beautiful, encouraging testimony you have! I am looking forward to hearing that ‘I am cancer free!’ proclaimation! I believe! 💜

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Your words from November 2014 echo back to me today. “I believe that The Father sent Jesus to earth to pay for us some fatted calves. They are paid for and waiting out in the pasture for us to claim as ours and throw a party to celebrate! Today, the fatted calf that Jesus paid for is healing!” I stood with you then and I stand with you today! I celebrate with you! I believe the report of the Lord and thank and Praise Jesus for healing you! I love you!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m so very thankful for the faith you walk in. Your example has challenged me to grow in my own faith and has taught me what real faith looks like. I love you dear friend, and am so very thankful God has used you to influence my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When I think back on those long nights that I couldn’t sleep but was too tired to get out of bed….your beautiful emails got me through and ALWAYS pointed me back to our loving Father.
      I am forever grateful for you my precious pen pal!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I was just thinking about you and praying for you this morning! I love you sweet sister and will continue to pray for you. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have stood on God’s Word from the beginning believing He HAS healed you. Isn’t it awesome that He led us to study about Healing & grew our faith so that at such a time as this we could stand on His Word with confidence in Him?!? I am so thankful for the journey of faith the Lord has led us on. He is so Very Good, faithful to equip us with what we need before we need it!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My sweet and dear friend, I praise God for your very life! When I needed a guide most in my walk with Him, He sent me you! I hate knowing that during this arduous journey you’ve had I have been so far away. But trusting that God heals, because we know it’s true, I will anxiously wait to read your post declaring freedom from cancer. I love you bunches and pray God continues using you to bless others!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Katie, thank you for your sweet words of encouragement! You are such a blessing! I will definitely post my Good report!
      Your family is growing and I know you are a great Momma! Give your babies a kiss from me! And tell your sweet hubby we said hi!
      Blessings from B’ham!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. God is truly amazing and He certainly knows His plans for us. A year and a half ago I heard the small still voice with the words “for faith to trust Him more” The following month I had neck surgery and within a few months that followed, I closed my nail and skincare business of almost 20years. It was more like a ministry. It wasn’t until a year later that the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart saying “I will sweeten the bitter waters”. I had no idea what I was in store for, but should’ve known that when He said “for faith to trust Him more” some trials were headed my way. He allows situations in order to grow our relationship closer to Him. We may think at the present moment that we couldn’t get any more closer because it’s all good, but as we tend to find out….oh, yes we can. We must adjust our attitudes like Joseph did in the pit. So yes mam, I’ve grown to trust Him more. Through the loss of my independence of everything that I had worked so hard for through the years…all changed. Please read my blog at Godsfruitful.net that I recently posted titled “The foundation, a door and a window” because that’s all that remains of “my business”. I’m sorry that be you’ve had to go through such hard times. I had clients to undergo chemo and it takes a toll. May Hod continue to bless you. I will pray for you.
    When I first read you title, I posted yes, He did help you because your smiling. I didn’t realize to click for story until afterwards because I’m new on here. After such a long winded post, you probably wish I hadn’t 😐😊 I’m putting my trust in Him that hopefully my new site for this Christian blog is the ‘new’ direction that He has for me. I’m desperate to get busy for Him and have a purpose again. I welcome any followers to encourage and build Up His Kingdom. God Bless

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi friend. Welcome to the blogging world.

      Thank you for your words of encouragement. His plans are higher than ours. Thank goodness! I wouldn’t have it any other way despite the fact that some mornings I go screaming & crying. But by the end of the day there is always a Peace that passes all understanding.
      God is so good! He’s a good, good Father.

      Thank you for your prayers. May God bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face to shine on you and be gracious to you… Numbers 6:25-26

      I pray God uses your heart to write to minister to many. ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Sorry for typo on the most important person and word God. I’m typing on phone app w/o reading glasses and trying to be ever so quite as hubby sleeping🙆🏼🙃

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I am sorry to hear of your illness and painful journey – your divine healing was finished before the seventh day of creation – when God rested from all His labors. So was my grandson Jake’s. I believe God will manifest both your’s and Jake’s at just the right time. I believe God is good and in good mood. I do not believe He withholds any good thing from you … Or Jake … Or even me. He is bigger and kinder than that. He is not a punisher. That still leaves us with the elephant in the room … Why this … Why now … Why me … Cindy – me and God (and many others) love you and bless you – we know you are in Him and His word is in you and that you may ask what you wish and it will be done for you. Ask and keep on asking – seek and keep on seeking – knock and expect the host to answer the door. Blessings – you are not as those we have no hope. Peace


    1. Steve, thank you so much for reading this post and sharing your heart. I believe you may have misunderstood the author’s point and heart in what she shared. You see, “I prayed but God didn’t help” is one of the most searched phrases on the Internet. That means people struggling with this thought process, are turning to the Internet for answers. Our heart at Breath on Paper is hopefully to meet them in their search with an answer that points them back to Him, His goodness and faithfulness, with real experiences and real feelings that people can relate to. Cindy, has done that so beautifully in her post; sharing her very real trial and feelings. However, she’s shown our readers that though God didn’t answer exactly as she prayed, He still answered and in a way that has brought more blessing, wisdom and a deeper relationship with Him than she would have gotten had He answered the way she expected.
      Although she shared very real and understandable emotions and thoughts she had while walking through her trial, as most people do while in the storm, she also shares how thankful she is for how the Lord did bring her though it, for the wisdom she gained and also how she has learned to trust the Lord even more. She shares how her trial strengthened her faith. This is what people struggling with these questions need to encounter so it will build their faith, encourage them and give them hope, and learn that God loves them and is for them.
      You may have noticed that this is the topic of the last week, where each of our writers have addressed this statement with their own experience, each pointing the reader back to Jesus.
      Thank you again for sharing your heart. We’re standing on the Word and calling forth your grandson Jake’s healing as the scriptures promise.
      “For the word of God will never fail. ””
      ‭‭Luke‬ ‭1:37‬ ‭NLT‬‬


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